I have heard fear described as a deep and corrosive thread in the fabric of life. While that doesn’t depict wonderful and fluffy images in our mind (sorry, no unicorns and rainbows there) it does seem oddly accurate. Dictionary.com describes fear as: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc. whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. I am not typically concerned with whether the fear is accurate or not, my concern is whether you perceive it to be accurate. I was taught many many years ago that whether something was true of false was irrelevant, if it was true in my head than I needed to respond as if it were true. Allow me to explain for a moment. Recently I have begun to transition my business from in person psychotherapy to include distance life coaching. As with anything connected to the entire world, there are a lot of social media outlets for those people who also describe themselves as coaches. I suspect that every day there are on average, three to six posts about how the coaching world is overly saturated and coming to an end. From a different perspective, my husband and I are looking to make decision about the home we live in. The possibilities are as different as the options. However, there are people who would encourage us to operate out of a fear-based system. I’m not sure how that is either helpful or healthy.
Previously in my life, I was typically operating out of a fear mindset. The consequences included the fact that I was very enmeshed in a poverty mindset. That’s not a coincidental occurrence. Fear is very much from a poverty mindset because when we are in fear, our faith and trust is diminished. I tend to protect myself from fear mongering today, but at the end of the day you can’t isolate yourself from all influences. Even the best-intentioned people can slip into the fear mindset.
I am fairly cognizant of the energetic protections against fearful or negative energy that I consistently engage in. But, what if the fear starts with me rather than an outside source? I can’t possibly shield away my own thoughts, feelings, reactions and responses. Therefore the following list is how I combat fear (weather internal or external):
- Reality Checks: I have a group of people in my life that I refer to as “Closed mouthed respected friends”. These are the people I can contact and run a crazy response or bizarre thought by. The value of having these people in my life is that they do not judge me for my thoughts or responses. They offer me the truth wrapped in grace and love. How much better can it be than that?
- Don’t feed the trolls: Again whether this is an externally driven thought or an internally driven thought is irrelevant. You wouldn’t give a two year old a loaded weapon right? So, let’s not feed people or thoughts that does not maintain our highest good.
- Feed yourself positive things: I could go on forever about this one, but let me give you an example. When I write a blog and I am sitting in a silent home or office, my blogs are acceptable. However, when I write my blogs listening to music that motivates and moves me there’s a difference. When I’m open and willing to receive direction and guidance my blogs are phenomenal! That’s a fairly big shift.
- Visualize success: I really can’t stress this one enough. It’s one of the most powerful techniques that every human alive has access to. Whatever you are fearful or anxious of, just take a deep breath and imagine the opposite coming true. The more you engage your imagination that more you are becoming responsible for programming your subconscious mind. I can’t think of a better incentive to take control.
- Self-Hypnosis: I don’t know of a quicker or more powerful technique out there to program your subconscious mind for success. If your subconscious mind is programmed for success, I don’t think fearful or self-defeating thoughts will even be able to register on your radar. And even if they do, it will be more like a blip than a landslide. Self-hypnosis allows you to be in control of what you put in your brain. I suspect it’s the most powerful technique out there.
- EFT: The emotional freedom technique (or tapping) is a quick mechanism. One of the things I like about it is, when I use it with my clients it always creates a substantial shift within a few minutes. The key to it is to tap with positive intention.
- Mantras: Whenever I interact with someone who is (unintentionally or intentionally) attempting to induce fear in me, I typically just begin repeating my mantra in my head. Mantras are just focused or specific affirmations, which are a powerful part of my life. In the past, while driving I would shut off the radio and repeat one for a certain stretch of highway, and then change it when I turned. Get creative but use it.
As I previously stated I could keep going on forever and ever about the ways to cope with fear and combat it. However, my main recommendation to you is to explore many things and find a technique or mechanism that works well for you. Life is not a one size fits all type of deal. It’s okay to personalize things for you.
Jenn Bovee, LCSW is a spiritual psychotherapist and life coach. She offers in person and distance sessions. Learn more about her here: www.JennBoveeLCSW.com