I remember the point in my life that I was introduced to the law of attraction. It was an absolute game changer for me. I remember the person that gave me the movie “The Secret”, as an introduction to the Law of Attraction. In essence the Law of Attraction says, “Like attracts like”. To many of us reading this particular blog, this is not a new concept. Another way that people talk about Law of Attraction is, what you put out into the universe you attract back to you. My preferred method around this theology is “What you think of, you create.” I can’t begin to tell you how freeing this concept was to me! I suspected that I have been empowered with the tools to create my perfect reality. How freeing and amazing is that?! For the most part that’s exactly what I have done. I’ve used this philosophy to change my relationships with others, my relationship and experience with money and my interactions in my business. However, what happens when something bad (or negative) happens in your life? The natural inclination of society (even among the most enlightened of us) is to state that clearly you must have “attracted” this situation to yourself. Somehow this reminds me of blaming the victim and seems very dis-empowering. Let me just run this thought process out for you.
I have been diagnosed with chronic neurological Lyme disease. There are some people who would say things such as “Obviously you need to raise your vibration level on a regular basis.” Or the most absurd accusation, which is, “You must have some kind of attachment”. Are either one of these responses light, empowering, or loving? Of course not! Would you blame a person who’s spouse was brutally killed. Can you even imagine saying to someone who had just lost his or her spouse “eh, it’s more than likely your fault for lowering your vibration”? I can’t even conceptualize that occurring.
Here’s how I differ from a lot of Law of Attraction Principles: I don’t necessarily buy into the guilt and blame game. What if the lesson is something bigger or more empowering than blaming yourself? What if the lesson is something about teaching you to continue to soar despite the chaotic crap of this world? My personal perception of how I have come to be diagnosed with Lyme disease stems from my desire to be unstoppable and thrive no matter what life throws at me! I suspect it’s an agreement I made prior to being born in this life, and do you know what? I am unstoppable!
I am very certain that Wayne Dyer, Napoleon Hill, Rhonda Bryn and even Abraham Hicks did not support and promote the Law of Attraction so that it could be used as a form of oppression. So here’s how I recommend you combat the oppressive nature of self-blame when life happens. These are the same methods that I use to eliminate any criteria to beat myself up ( or blame myself):
1. Forgive easily and quickly: Anger, resentment and frustration are lower vibration feelings. If that weren’t enough of a reason to discard them, each of those emotions creates blocks for people. The blocks can disrupt the flow of money, relationships, health etc. 2. Look at the bigger picture: In each and every act of destruction that I have experienced in my life, I can look back now and see where each of them brought me to the wonderful place I am now. What if this experience is designed to clear something that is no longer serving you out of your life? How amazing would that be? 3. Find the gratitude: In each and every situation exists an opportunity for you to experience gratitude. Using gratitude is a paradigm shift. Can you imagine how different your life could be if after each and every interaction, experience and thought; if you expressed gratitude? That’s huge. 4. Don’t take it personally: For those of you who are empathic, I would caution you to not absorb it. Whatever the criteria don’t take it on. Make the decision that it’s not about you. It’s just a piece of the puzzle, but it’s not the whole puzzle. 5. Imagine: I’m a big advocate for using the power of imagination. How would your experiences be different if everything you encountered something unpleasant you imagined it just floating by you? Which would mean you could be aware of it, without allowing it to impact you.
In both my personal and professional life I love the Law of Attraction. I am dedicated to empowering each of my clients with the skills necessary to navigate the Law of attraction.
How are you handling the common place shame that people throw around when using the Law of Attraction? I would love to hear back from you.
Jenn Bovee is a Psychotherapist and Shame Busting Coach! She empowers her clients to ditch the shackles of shame and step into the life of their dreams.