Clarity

Feeding Your Soul

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  It’s the first day of 2016, and I am absolutely filled with love, confidence, joy and serenity. Is my life “perfect”? I’m sure to some outside observers it may appear that way. However, as I write this I am currently eliminating the second concussion I have had in the last three years, and I am slightly overwhelmed with scheduling issues. Here’s the difference between me last year and me this year. Last year, I would have spent time beating myself up with unhelpful thoughts such as, “Who falls in their own office and lets their 200 pound office chair give them a concussion” or “It’s just scheduling! It shouldn’t be that hard.” In the past, I was prone to be unnecessarily harsh on myself. But I made a substantial change in my life yesterday and it feels amazing!

 

I rang in most of New Years Eve by de-cluttering my house and eliminating things that I no longer need. Once that task was completed, I spent time releasing and forgiving anyone and everyone who had every upset, offended or hurt me in any way. Every…single…person! And it felt amazing! Which leads me to the most crucial question of this blog: What are you doing to feed your soul?

 

I have cleared a space of my own in my home. A space just for me! That no one else will be able to put stuff on or things in. A place that is my very own sacred place of healing, working, manifesting and appreciating. Many men have what is affectionately known as a “man cave.” I have even heard of certain mom’s having a “mom-cave,” but I am not going to get caught up in the title or the name of a space. My question to you is this: Do you have a sacred space in your home? In our current home, space is somewhat limited. Therefore my space is in the upstairs living room. I’m not at all bothered by this, because we have two living rooms. In our next home, I will have my own office there. You may be asking yourself why having a space is relevant or important. The answer is somewhat complex. On the surface it’s because it gives you ownership in the structure you reside in. On a deeper level, it attributes to you having a sacred place in which you can rejuvenate, relax and repair yourself. It allows you to have a space that encourages times to decompress, time to meditate, time to reflect and time to plan.

 

I am very invested in nurturing my soul, because it’s the most vital part of me. I would no more neglect this part of me than many people would neglect their child or pet. Therefore, I want to present you with a list of ways to feed your soul. Because you are worth it and you deserve it!

 

  1. Music: For as long as I can remember I have had a very eclectic taste in music. There was only one requirement for it: I had to be able to sing along. Sometimes, when I close my eyes and I am signing, I feel as though I am the only one left on the planet. It’s a beautiful and wonderful thing. I have said for as long as I can remember that music is the language of my soul.
  2. Nature: Have you ever just gone out in the middle of a forest, or in the middle of the woods, or even in the center of the beach and just felt as if nothing else in the world mattered? Or perhaps it feels as if nothing else exists. For me, I can achieve this simply by going outside and standing in the middle of the sunlight or the moonlight. It’s equally as freeing and soothing.
  3. Laugh…a lot: I’m not concerned with if you are watching a comedy or watching a talking squirrel on Youtube. Laughter is not only healthy and healing for your physical body, but also for you soul. Have you ever heard of laughter therapy? It’s an actual movement. Allow yourself to laugh and find the humor in things.
  4. Kindness: When is the last time that you picked some fresh flowers for yourself? When is the last time that you bought fresh flowers for yourself? Are you waiting for someone else to buy them for you? I am a huge lover of fresh flowers. Therefore, I have no issue buying them for myself.
  5. Write a love letter: Have you ever gotten a letter from someone you loved more than words could describe? Hopefully you love yourself so much that you fit into this category! Many years ago, I ran a women’s support group and it was a very powerful group. Periodically, I would have the women write letters to them self. This doesn’t have to be awkward or uncomfortable, let me give you some direction. When I’m writing love letters to myself I do it in the form of an outside observer. As if I’m an invisible part of my daily life, only I have the added benefit of seeing my thoughts, actions, beliefs and feelings.
  6. Gratitude: I literally use gratitude in my life all day, every day. I am grateful for the wonderful and happy things as well as the less than amazingly stellar things. My experience with gratitude is it halves feelings and situations that are not amazingly wonderful and it multiplies situations that are. I use gratitude on every experience I encounter throughout the day.
  7. Imagination: I am very color oriented (I’m not fond of pale colors) and as such I play with what I see and what I feel. If my soul is feeling “off” or “a little down” I just pick a couple of colors and imagine my entire being filled to the brim with it and then overflowing. My favorite colors to do this with are pink and green because they are loving and healing colors.
  8. Meditation: Meditation, in it’s strictest definition is the ability to clear your mind of all thought. I do this regularly. I have found that just like forgiveness and releasing things, clearing my mind of all thoughts allows more room for positive and uplifting thoughts to occur. Let’s look at our minds like a garbage bin just for a moment. How many times is your bin over flowing? If we don’t ever empty it, where does all of it go? In my experience, our minds are not much different.

 

If you have other ways that you nurture and feed your soul, I’m so excited for you. If you have never entertained this concept, practice with some of these and shoot me an email. I would love to hear what changed for you as a result of doing some of this!

 

JennBoveeLCSW is a Spiritual Life Coach and Hypnotherapist. She offers in person and distance sessions to people all across the world. Learn more about Jenn here:www.JennBoveeLCSW.com

The Magic of Words

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I am an English speaking person, by birth person. Given that context you would think that I would have been easily able to master the magic of using the correct words to achieve my goals. If you have ever read any of my blogs you will notice that typically I start off with the dictionary definition. I do this because, I want to make sure everyone is on the same page about the context of the word I am using. However, I have looked up the words I’m going to cover in this blog up and I don’t see them described this way in the dictionary. Let me ask you a question. What is your response when your boss has given you so many tasks that no human alive could achieve them in the desired time frame, and your boss gives you another one? The average person is not going to argue with this, they instead are going to pacify the person demanding things from them. The response becomes, “I will try”. Let’s take this another direction. A person whom you have a relationship with (father, mother, sibling, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, ect) gives you an assignment. Something that they need done, but you have no desire or plan to actually achieve. What’s your typical response? For most people, their response becomes “I will try”. How long do you think it’s possible to use the word ty before it becomes an internal cop out? I cannot tell you how many adults I work with, who when I am teaching them new skills, they will say “I tried” or “I am trying”. There’s a complete lack of commitment when we use the word try. When I used to facilitate groups and I would hear someone use the word try, I would toss them a box of tissues. I would ask them to demonstrate what trying looks like. Inevitably, they would pick up the box of tissues, I would then instruct them that they had done it wrong. I simply wanted them to show me what trying looks like, not succeeding. At which point they would become confused. Trying indicates an absolute lack of commitment. In my experience there is no trying, you either do it or you do not do it.

Another word that is commonly mis-used is just. Even as I look at the definition of the word it doesn’t match how most of us use this word. The typical context I hear this word used in is: “I’m just going to” or “I just need to” or even “I just”. Can we really think of a bigger excuse maker? It seems to be a catalyst for denying either our responsibility or our commitment. I suspect that for most people these justifications come from a lack of boundaries or a sense of being overwhelmed. My recommendation is for us to purify our language and increase our accountability.

I was taught many years ago that commitment was a big deal. I desired to be a person of my word. Therefor I keep my commitment today unless I have a valid (and urgent) reason to not be able to keep that commitment. In the book of Matthew of the Bible, we are told to let our yes be yes and our no be no. How much clearer do we need to receive this message?

Below is a list of ways to remove the excuses from your language, increase your accountability, and enhance the magic of your words. These are how I have eliminated the negative and self-sabotaging words from my vocabulary:

  1. Understand our words have power: Whether we ascribe to the Law of Attraction or Self Fulfilling Prophecy the results are the same: Whatever we think, feel, believe, speak, or imagine to be true…we are creating that as a reality. For some people this may be a terrifying realization. For others, it will be wickedly empowering. Once we understand the absolute power of the spoken (or thought of) words we can begin creating our reality.
  2. Don’t commit initially: Many years ago I began implementing a philosophy in which I would not agree to do anything right when asked. In fact my standard answer became, “I need to check my schedule”. This allowed me some time and distance from the potential obligation to sort out if it was something I wanted to do, if it was something I would be best served by doing, or if it was something I was interested in. It allowed me an avenue for detachment without being overly concerned with hurting the other person.
  3. Clarity Meditations: Literally this can take less than a minute. I am a big believer in keeping things simple. The way I do this is by breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. I focus on how the air feels coming in and out. Once I have done that for a few seconds I focus on breathing in all the good things (peace, love, joy, clarity, harmony, creativity) and I exhale all of the troublesome things (doubt, fear, insecurity, worry, anxiety). Recently I facilitated a client experiencing this phenomenon and she was instantly hooked. And the shift it created took less than 57 seconds to occur.
  4. Write it down: I love electronic technology. But after getting confused or near misses to deadlines, I went back old school. I have surrendered to the need to have written accountability. This allows me to stay focused, accountable, and accurate. I can also see (with a quick glance to my calendar) how I am doing with the balance I desire in my life. I also really value setting my intentions the night before. I would encourage everyone to spend some time before bed writing down a list of 3 – 6 things you want to accomplish the next day.
  5. Affirmations: At the end of the day, affirmations are simply statements of intent. This reminds me of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements. In this book he talks about using the power of your word to speak in the direction of truth and love. How can it get any better than that? If you are new to affirmations, keep it simple. The goal here is to speak your intention as though it has already happened.

Every single word in the human language has meaning. Remember if your words are not assisting you in creating the reality you desire, than they are hurting you. If you wonder if the word you are using has any negative ties to it, go to the dictionary. Many times we have altered the original use or context of a word to mean what fits our motives.

Jenn Bovee, LCSW is a spiritual life coach and psychotherapist. Jenn offers in person and distance life coaching sessions. You can learn more about her here: www.JennBoveeLCSW.com