Turning Mom Wounds Into Success
Have you ever found yourself wondering what’s wrong with you? Why no one can make you feel loved? Or why you just feel like you aren’t good enough?
It’s very possible that you’re dealing with Mom Wounds.
Most people are not aware of how deeply their relationship or lack thereof with their mothers affects most areas of their lives.
They also believe that if their mothers weren’t users or abusers that they don’t have those kinds of wounds to deal with.
The reality is that if mom didn’t react to your affection in ways that you could receive her love, you likely have developed issues from it.
And those issues may very well have impacted your life on a very negative level.
Here are some powerful ways that your relationship with your mom may have manifested in your life:
Low-Self Worth And Low Self Esteem: When you’ve been raised by a toxic mother, it ends up creating huge doubt in your worthiness.
The reality is your mom was likely the biggest contributor to your inner dialogue.
If your relationship with your mom was less than supportive, uplifting, empowering, and loving you likely carry some of the wounds pretty deep and show up in some of the most inconvenient places, perpetuating the narrative.
Struggle To Get Your Needs Met: Because you don’t believe you are worthy of great and wonderful things, you will struggle to ask for your needs to be met.
When you’ve lived with a constant sense of judgment, it’s difficult to advocate for your own needs. Many people who have these experiences, also struggle to be able to simply identify their needs, let alone ask for them to be met.
And it is painfully evident in family relationships, as well as work.
Have A Baseline Level Of Insecurity: When you’ve had a mother who had her own unaddressed issues (anxiety, depression, unaddressed trauma, eating disorders, etc), you often times find yourself looking for validation, recognition, or even just reassurance.
This can range from accomplishments through to worthiness and include being loved or worthy. Oftentimes, people who have a baseline of insecurity, live with the fear that they are inherently unlovable, combined with the fear that everyone else will discover their unlovability as well.
Work, nor home life are pleasant when you have to live like this.
Struggle With Trust Issues: There’s a wide range of negative experiences that cause a lack of trust in people who have less than healthy moms.
Sometimes the lack of trust comes from the constant betrayal that stems from a lack of validated feelings and experiences.
There’s phenomenal research that talks about how secure attachment in childhood results in deeper trust in adulthood. So, if you couldn’t trust your mom to validate your feelings, to honor your experiences, or to show up for you; how can you expect yourself to trust anyone or anything.
This often manifests itself in the most superficial of relationships even. If you think you may have been affected, look at your relationships and your history of relationships.
Avoid Deep And Committed Relationships: When you have issues with your mom, you often long to have committed and meaningful relationships. However, you may have a fear of commitment and getting hurt.
The strategy that children use to attempt to please their parents, is the exact same relationship you use to attempt to create connections while being an adult. Which becomes problematic.
So, you will be terrified that things won’t work out and you will be left alone. You will find that your fear is greater than your desire to be in a fulfilling loving relationship. And you will sabotage any opportunity to be in one.
Struggle With Feelings And Emotions: Because of the lack of emotional intimacy in your relationship with your mom, you’ve likely never had the experience of revealing what you feel inside.
This typically interferes with every relationship you have, including the romantic ones. As a self protection mechanism, you often times act as if you just don’t care about people, issues, or situations.
The problem is it quickly begins to destroy your relationships because people long for emotional connection and emotional intimacy.
Whew. All of these manifestations of the affects of your relationship with your mom can really hamper and hinder your effort to be in stable loving relationships with your kids, your significant other, coworkers and more.
But the good news is all is not lost.
There is help and there are ways to resolve all of this. It’s called “Surviving May”.
It’s a high-powered toolkit, based on my decades in the mental health industry, that helps you uncover your mom wounds and, more importantly, helps you COPE with them, so you can start having the fulfilling relationships you long for...the relationships that make you feel loved and supported. The relationships that help you succeed in your business or career.
Check it out here: www.JennBovee.com/mom
If I can do anything to be of service, please don’t hesitate to reach out.